Talk:League of Women Voters: Difference between revisions
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imported>Shamira Gelbman (New page: <noinclude>{{subpages}}</noinclude>) |
imported>Shamira Gelbman (first evaluation comments) |
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==First (instructor) evaluation comments== | |||
Hi Tyler, | |||
Here are some suggestions for further improvements to your encyclopedia entry draft. I'm going to stick to the sections you've already begun developing, but keep in mind that you still need to fill in the others as well as the related articles, bibliography, and external links subpages. | |||
* The "History" section is off to a good start, though you might elaborate more on some of the information you provide in each subsection. For example, in the "Founding" subsection, you might provide a little more historical context and say more about what Catt did to get the LWV off the ground. Similarly, you might clarify why the organization started to allow males to join in the aftermath of the civil rights movement. | |||
* The "Current objectives and activities" section would benefit from a lot more explanation so that you don't lose your readers in all the jargon. | |||
* The "Organizational structure" section could be more fleshed out with information about other leadership positions aside from the president. | |||
* Throughout the entry, you might put double square brackets (i.e. [[ ]]) around key terms (rather than bolding them) to create links to related Citizendium entries. E.g. [[United States Constitution]], [[Carrie Chapman Catt]], [[Roe v. Wade]], etc. | |||
[[User:Shamira Gelbman|Shamira Gelbman]] 15:35, 8 October 2009 (UTC) | |||
==Second (peer) evaluation comments== |
Revision as of 09:35, 8 October 2009
First (instructor) evaluation comments
Hi Tyler,
Here are some suggestions for further improvements to your encyclopedia entry draft. I'm going to stick to the sections you've already begun developing, but keep in mind that you still need to fill in the others as well as the related articles, bibliography, and external links subpages.
- The "History" section is off to a good start, though you might elaborate more on some of the information you provide in each subsection. For example, in the "Founding" subsection, you might provide a little more historical context and say more about what Catt did to get the LWV off the ground. Similarly, you might clarify why the organization started to allow males to join in the aftermath of the civil rights movement.
- The "Current objectives and activities" section would benefit from a lot more explanation so that you don't lose your readers in all the jargon.
- The "Organizational structure" section could be more fleshed out with information about other leadership positions aside from the president.
- Throughout the entry, you might put double square brackets (i.e. [[ ]]) around key terms (rather than bolding them) to create links to related Citizendium entries. E.g. United States Constitution, Carrie Chapman Catt, Roe v. Wade, etc.
Shamira Gelbman 15:35, 8 October 2009 (UTC)